carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
