it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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