hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
