do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
