If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
