I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
