What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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