Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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