so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize