just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
