He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
