you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just had sex bonerless
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
