D3 body, D1 cock
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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