seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
