HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
