Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
