if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize