every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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