Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
