Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
