you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
