We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
