Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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