Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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