my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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