New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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