she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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