Is it normal to miss your booty call?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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