She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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