She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
