IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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