Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
