do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
