Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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