about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
