Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The Olympian is in my bed
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
