We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
