i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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