i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
