now i know why i became what i already was.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
