All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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