I need help removing her.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
