so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
