We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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