nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
sex in a hospital.. check
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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