i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
