I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So vagazzling was a success
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
