I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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