I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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