This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just found puke in my bra..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
