i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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