How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
