he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
