yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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