dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
