So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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