I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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