The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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