i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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