im drinking this country out of the recession.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize