will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
