The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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