so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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